Seventh day of Ramadan

Alo!
I found my poem that I had wrote when I was in form 2. Well actually the poem was for my presentation for the Celcom Youth Ambassador (CYA) competition. I remember an event regarding this poem. At first, I didn't thought that my poem would be used for the presentation because supposedly the person in charge of making the poem was someone else, a form four student, a guy...

We both showed our poem and surprisingly mine was chosen. The guy left with a sour face. He throw away his masterpiece into the dustbin. I secretly picked it out and read it. Hm....I think it was good so I intend to keep it.

Can you help me judge which one is better??

Here's mine :
You said," I had a long dream...
                It was a very sad dream
                But what I saw wasn't one bit clouded...
I said," It's okay to cry,
           You have friends that stay by your side
           No matter what happens...

With standing the current
You Can't even raise your voice
It could be the end right there,
But....Life Goes On

This time you'll take off with courage
Spread the wings of your heart
And fly....
To the unseen future...


Here's the guy's poem :

Jejak pertama
Di gerbang duka
Hanya sayu dan pilu
Melihat anak-anak kecil
Menanti penuh pengharapan

Tiada wajah suka
Atau gembira
Yang tinggal hanyalah
Wajah penuh penderitaan
Menanti hari mendatang

Di hati kecil mereka hanya berkata
Oh...tuhan mengapa aku
Mengapa aku dilahirkan begini
Apa dosa aku, apa salah ibu bapaku
Mengapa aku menjadi mangsanya
Dikala orang bergembira
Mengapa aku di sini....

What do you think??