Saturday, March 20, 2010

text production 1

What are the potential effects of global warming in terms of climate change and how they can be arrested?

Global warming is a worldwide problem and it seems to be worsening year after year. The Earth’s temperature continues to rise making the climate becomes more erratic, forcing many species into extinction and making life harder. The ten hottest years on record have occurred in the last 14 years and the hottest of all was 2005 (Al Gore, 2006). Some people do not want to admit that this problem is serious. It is true that the temperature is rising but the average temperature is quite stable over some periods of time. (Holli Riebeek 2007). However, they didn’t notice that these small changes in temperature will correspond to enormous changes in environment. Thus, we have to work fast to avoid the potential effects of global warming in terms of climate change and to find a way to arrest it.

The most potential effects that we can draw out are the loss of low-lying ground corresponds to the melting of sea ice at the North Pole and South Pole. This includes mountain glaciers, ice sheets covering West Antarctica and Greenland, and Arctic sea ice. (Holli Riebeek 2007). When they melt, they will release a large amount of water to the sea causing an arising of water levels. People who live near to the sea level, such as in Florida might have the chance to lose their homes and even worse their lives. Not only that, the surface of the Earth also changes where some of the grounds are now gone, wipe out by the sea. Al Gore in a documentary entitled “An Inconvenient Truth” which was release on 2006, said that “A friend of mine said in 1978, if you see the breakup of ice shelves along the Antarctica Peninsular, watch out because that should be seen as an alarm bell for global warming”. The breakup of ice has changed the shape of the Antarctica making it smaller and smaller in size. Other places like Greenland also affected. Tony Blair’s scientific advisor has said that the cause of what’s happening in Greenland right now, the maps of the world would have to be redrawn. (Al Gore 2006).

Other serious potential effects are the extinction of plants and animals. Overall, species loss is now occurring at a rate 1000 times greater than the natural background (Al Gore 2006). The poles may become too warm for creatures that live there. This causes the plants and animals may not be able to adapt to their new surroundings. Some will ended up dead and worst extinct. Moreover, a tremendous increase in heat wave has shown a great impact where many people had died because of it. When the ocean gets warmer, it causes a stronger storm. As the water temperature increases, wind’s velocity increases and moisture content of the storm also increases. (Al Gore 2006). Hurricanes such as Katrina were formed and cause many people to suffer.

To overcome such problem, people’s attitudes have to change first. It is important that they be more conscious in reducing the percentage of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. Use less energy for heating or cooling the house as the use of air conditioner releases greenhouse gases. Less driving means fewer emissions and it saves fuels. Explore your community mass transit system, and check out any options for carpooling. If things continue as they are, we'll soon be using nearly twice of the energy and getting even more of it from fossil fuels. (Chris Woodford 2006). Forest reserve is important so that the balance of the Earth will be stored. More and more oxygen will be produce and in contrast reduces the Earth temperature.

Without drastic action, the amount of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere will continue to increase and Earth will continue to heat up. In other words, global warming becomes worse. Thus, let us work together for a better future.

1 comments:

NuR_AqiLaH said...

Overall, your essay is good. Thumbs-up for you. Hooray!!! Your sentences are easy to read and understand. So, you just need to keep up your good work. (^.^)

COMMENTS:
1.The global warming problem had been well explained in the introductory sentence. I think it is clear enough.
2.There is thesis statement at the end of the introductory paragraph. It is clear and connected to all the topic sentences.
3.Each of the paragraphs has enough supporting details and examples except the conclusion. I will explain it in detail in Q6.
4.In the 2nd last paragraph, the points do not seem to be connected to each other. Maybe you can use words like 'other that that' or 'besides that' or 'in addition' or as simple as 'and'(the transition words) to connect your idea. It is not so nice to just state it one by one.
Extra: I'm not sure about this. But, someone told me that each paragraph needs a concluding sentences which restate your topic sentence. I also did not include it in my essay but maybe you can try to include that.
5.I think all sentences and sections are clear enough except the conclusion part.
6.I think the conclusion is too short. Not enough supporting details. It is not so clear that you restate your thesis statement. Maybe you can add-on more.
7.In the 1st paragraph, you had mistakenly put a comma in your citation there. Other than that, I think it is just fine.
8.It is better to spell in full (did not) in essay writing rather that using the ' (didn't).
"The most potential effects that we can draw out are(is) the..."
“Other serious potential effects are(is) the…”
In these above two sentences, you state only one point. So, it should be is and no ‘s’.
9.You had comprehensively cover appropriate materials available from the standard sources.
10.Additional comments:
It will be nicer if you can change your thesis statement rather than just copy the full question. Try to find any synonyms words.

I'm not so good in English too. Let's just share what we know and for better explanation, kindly refer to ms. dil or any other expert in this area.

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